The parenthood paradox: Parents are less joyful but feel more fulfilled

The relationship between parenthood and happiness reveals a paradox. While children bring significant challenges such as sleepless nights, financial strain, and constant demands, they also provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment that outweigh those inconveniences. A meta-study spanning ten countries, including Spain, found that parenthood slightly boosts eudaimonic well-being, a sense of meaning and virtue, while having little impact on hedonic well-being, or overall daily happiness.

The key to parental satisfaction lies in the quality of the relationship between parents, particularly the mother and father, rather than the act of parenting itself. Those who planned fewer children than they ended up with tend to report lower levels of well-being. Joy seems to peak when children become independent and leave home, providing parents with a sense of relief and gratitude for the investment they made.

Scandinavian countries, with their robust parental leave policies and work-life balance, stand out as the happiest nations for parents. However, in eastern Europe, mothers in vulnerable situations face the most significant hardships due to economic conditions, as they are expected to balance work, childcare, and household responsibilities.

A lack of prior caregiving experiences and the absence of a strong support network contribute to the stress of raising children. Parent-focused therapy highlights how individuals often come unprepared for the challenges of parenting and must reconfigure their priorities and expectations. The transition to parenthood can create internal conflicts, as society pressures individuals to remain unchanged despite the profound changes in their lives.