A curmudgeon’s guide to the 2026 US elections | Dave Schilling
From the cheesecake factory discourse to the double Dan Sullivans, campaign season has been ridiculous Chances are, as you’re reading this, your bunker is fully stocked, your doors are locked, and you’re peeking at your computer screen through gaps between your fingers. After all, it’s election day on Tuesday. Once again, democracy will be tested – like Beavis & Butthead taking the SATs. I’m not…
As you read this article, you may be preparing your bunker, locking your doors, and scanning your computer screen with urgency. Election Day has arrived, and the democratic process will once again be put to the test. I, Dave Schilling, share your frustration with the current state of US elections. Gone are the days when midterms were predictable affairs; now, anything can and will happen.
The list of absurdities is endless, from Donald Trump sending in the Suicide Squad to your local polling place to John Cena checking your ID before you cast your vote.
One amusing comparison comes from former President Barack Obama, who likened recent White House renovations to a Cheesecake Factory. I find this comparison both annoying and inappropriate. Speaking of absurdities, the Los Angeles mayoral race between incumbent Karen Bass and city councilperson Nithya Raman has taken a bizarre turn. Spencer Pratt, a reality TV star, remains popular enough to tip the scales in either candidate's favor. The mere thought of Spencer Pratt as mayor sends chills down my spine.
Another peculiar development involves a Republican Senator from Alaska, Dan Sullivan, who finds himself in a race against himself. Democrats attempted to unseat him by forcing him to run against himself, leading to a potential lawsuit from the justice department if the results are close. This absurdity has left me questioning the sanity of our political landscape.
In response to the hostile environment, college students in North Carolina have organized lengthy marches to maintain their voting rights. While their determination is admirable, the notion of our leaders intentionally making it more difficult for citizens to vote is unacceptable. Shame and embarrassment, once the primary tools to suppress voter turnout, are now being met with innovative resistance – stickers proudly worn on laptops to signal your commitment to democracy.
Donald Trump, the master of political chaos since 2011, concludes his last campaign cycle. His influence on our discourse has been nothing short of detrimental. As we approach Election Day, let us remember to exercise our rights, despite the absurdities and challenges we encounter.
Written by urgent.news from The Guardian US's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
