This is how great managers respond to disengaged employees

When team members lose their enthusiasm, many leaders instinctively tighten their control over them. While this may seem like a reasonable reaction, it is often not the most effective one. Gallup's recent report indicates that 70% of team disengagement can be traced directly back to the manager. How we deal with disengagement affects not just the individual in question, but also everyone who reports to that manager.

Understanding threat rigidity theory can shed light on why we instinctively want to assert more control. When we perceive a threat, such as pressure to perform, resistance to change, or fear of failure, our natural response is to narrow our focus and become more directive. However, this increase in control typically results in compliance rather than commitment.

What does it look like when we control disengaged employees? Consider Sam, who led retail operations and had six area managers reporting to her. During a period of rapid transformation, Sam encountered a team member who consistently challenged every change before it could even begin. In team meetings, he undercut new initiatives, not by questioning them, but by speaking down on them before they had a chance to take hold.

Sam noticed his eye-rolling and sarcastic remarks about company direction. While he met his individual targets, he stopped going above and beyond. After discussing the issue with him privately, Sam decided to put him on a formal performance improvement plan, documenting each instance of his behavior and clearly stating that his attitude was no longer suitable for his position.

If he didn't change, she would consider removing him from his leadership role. This behavior is an example of what many leaders are tempted to do when faced with under-engaged team members. Controlling people may comply because they feel obliged to, but this compliance is not the same as commitment. They are less likely to genuinely invest in changes, take ownership, or go beyond their role responsibilities.

Moreover, research tells us that autonomy is one of our fundamental psychological needs. According to Self-Determination Theory, when team members feel controlled rather than involved, their intrinsic motivation, sense of ownership, and willingness to contribute all decrease. Perhaps most importantly, a controlling approach focuses on behavior rather than the underlying reasons behind it.

Disengagement is often a symptom of deeper issues like uncertainty, loss of confidence, feeling unheard, disagreement with direction, or simply not understanding the 'why'. Asserting control may suppress the behavior temporarily, but it rarely addresses the root cause. So, what should we do instead? The answer is not to lower our expectations or avoid holding our team members accountable.

Accountability still matters. However, before deciding on action, effective leaders take a moment to understand what's really happening. One powerful approach is to become compassionately curious. This means being willing to seek understanding before trying to solve the problem. Instead of assuming a team member is simply resistant, difficult, or no longer committed, we can get curious about what may have changed.

What are they experiencing? What concerns do they have? What might they be seeing that we're not? Once we understand the situation, we can shift from trying to control the outcome to creating it together. Instead of prescribing the solution, involve the team member in finding it. Ask questions like: "What do you think needs to happen from here?"

"What support would help?" "What are we both willing to commit to?" When team members help shape the solution, they are more likely to take ownership of it. This doesn't mean that every conversation will result in the outcome we hoped for. Sometimes behavior doesn't change, and we still need to introduce accountability measures.

However, taking the time to understand what's driving the behavior allows us to make decisions that are better informed and more respectful, ultimately preserving trust. So, the next time you encounter a team member who seems to have checked out, resist the urge to manage harder. Instead, get curious first. Work together to solve the problem. After all, the behavior we're trying to change is rarely the real issue.