‘I have nannies, but…’: Gauahar Khan on the pressure to do motherhood her way

In the world of motherhood, each woman embraces a unique approach. On her podcast, Two Plus One Is Five, Gauahar Khan and content creator Aanam C discussed the trials faced by Indian mothers. Aanam began by mentioning that there's significant pressure on older mothers to make better decisions. Khan echoed this sentiment, admitting that after six months, she was going "crazy" and expressed that while she has nannies, she still teaches them how she wants tasks to be accomplished.

Lavina Nanda, Head of Developmental Services at Children First, Delhi, sheds light on why mothers struggle with accepting help. It stems from their difficulty in trusting that the assistance will align with their personal goals and roles. Motherhood often entails a great deal of "invisible labor," and there's a societal expectation that a good mother should handle everything without complaint.

Guilt is another factor contributing to this pressure. Society scrutinizes mothers, expecting them to manage health and well-being while receiving little empathy or understanding from family members. Nanda further highlights the role of patriarchy, where a woman's autonomy and choices are continually questioned. This makes seeking help a lonely and judgmental experience, often viewed as a parent who cannot do it on her own.

What truly aids mothers, according to Nanda, is providing genuine help that doesn't involve taking over or correcting. Instead, it's about creating a safe and supportive environment where mothers feel valued and empowered to shape their child's life. Partners, families, workplaces, and communities all play a crucial role in fostering this space, ensuring mothers receive support and recognition beyond their caregiving responsibilities.