‘I have nannies, but…’: Gauahar Khan on the pressure to do motherhood her way

Gauahar Khan and content creator Aanam C recently discussed the challenges of motherhood on Khan's podcast, Two Plus One Is Five. They highlighted the immense pressure placed on Indian mothers, particularly older ones, to navigate the role of parenting. Khan admitted that after six months, she felt overwhelmed, but emphasized that her nannies help her maintain control over daily tasks.

Despite having assistance, Khan still believes that mothers struggle with accepting help due to their strong sense of self-reliance and the societal expectations placed upon them.

Dr. Lavina Nanda, Head of Developmental Services at Children First, Delhi, explains that many mothers find it difficult to trust others and accept help because motherhood often comes with a heavy burden of invisible labor and the pressure to embody a perfect mother. This difficulty is compounded by guilt and the scrutiny from family members who may not fully understand the challenges mothers face.

Nanda also points out that deeply ingrained patriarchal norms and the questioning of a woman's autonomy further contribute to the pressure mothers feel.

Nanda suggests that genuine help involves creating a supportive environment where mothers can ask for assistance without feeling judged. She emphasizes the importance of providing a safe space for mothers to receive support, not as an additional task, but as an opportunity to shape their child's development within the family. This support should extend beyond the mother's role of caregiving, recognizing their value in various aspects of family life.