Are you abandoning the fight if you move from a red state to a blue one?

Your question delves deep into the heart of moral dilemmas, particularly when considering a potential relocation from a red state to a blue state. As a lesbian with a trans wife, you've faced unique challenges in your home state, and the prospect of moving could mean improved protections, better worker protections, and enhanced access to healthcare for you and your wife.

However, you're grappling with a conflicting sentiment – the feeling that moving away might be abandoning the fight in your home state. You acknowledge the impact of red state exodus and brain drain on your community, and you're weighing what's best for your wife against what's best for your broader community.

To navigate this complex situation, let's examine a few philosophical perspectives. One prominent view comes from utilitarians like Peter Singer, who propose that we should aim to maximize overall good and do good impartially, without prioritizing certain individuals just because they're our loved ones. This perspective has become so influential that it likely shapes your thinking even if you're not aware of it explicitly.

On the other hand, philosopher Bernard Williams offered a counterargument, arguing that showing partiality towards our loved ones can be morally appropriate. He posited that moral agency is always specific to individuals and their particular commitments. When we commit to our relationships, such as our marriage, we're not reneging on our values but rather honoring those special obligations.

Moreover, Williams emphasized that our moral agency is not a vacuum but is always situated within a specific context. Honoring these commitments doesn't equate to abandoning the good fight in our home state. It's crucial to recognize that people exist at different levels of vulnerability, and we shouldn't expect a trans individual to bear the same level of risk as someone who is not marginalized or endangered.

As you contemplate your decision, consider a few key factors. First, evaluate the happiness and well-being of your wife in both states. If she has a strong, loving community in your current red state, she might be happier there overall. Additionally, think about the potential impact of red states' shifting political landscapes. While they might currently lean red, they can also change, and blue states can also pass anti-trans rights measures.

Lastly, consider the philosophical notion presented by Lisa Tessman in her book "Burdened Virtues." She argues that certain traits developed in situations of oppression, such as sustained anger, fierce loyalty, and constant vigilance, can be virtuous but may also damage the well-being of the individuals who embody these traits. These traits can erode one's ability to flourish and potentially warp their moral character.

Reflect on whether the traits you've developed in your red state home might be eroding your overall well-being.

In conclusion, your decision to potentially move from a red state to a blue state involves weighing complex moral considerations. While it's essential to honor your commitments to your wife and community, it's equally important to recognize that ethical living doesn't always mean sacrificing your own well-being. By carefully considering these factors and the philosophical perspectives presented, you can make an informed decision that aligns with your values and circumstances.