Autumn Budget 2026: In defence of cheaper gherkins, nature’s Ozempic
Ahead of the Autumn Budget 2026, and the threat of cheaper gherkins for all, Adam Bloodworth on his love for the humble pickled vegetable, which is both delightfully crunchy and a hack to health My housemate Will has always been the sort of man with impossible levels of fitness. So when I started a new [...]
Ahead of the Autumn Budget 2026, the government plans to cut the tariff on importing gherkins by 12 per cent. This move aims to make the humble pickled vegetable more affordable for the masses. Adam Bloodworth, a fitness enthusiast and housemate, praises gherkins for being both low in calories and a great workout for the jaw. He finds the crunchy texture and tartness of gherkins irresistible, and swears by them as a natural form of appetite suppressant, akin to Ozempic.
Despite the added expense, Bloodworth insists that a balanced diet is essential and gherkins should be consumed in moderation. He has even started to incorporate them into his meals at work, drawing curious glances from his boss. With the lower price, Bloodworth hopes to stock up on the flavorful, cartoon-shaped veggie to help him maintain his weight and enjoy the upcoming party season without overindulging.
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