You're not scared of failing. You're scared of being watched while you try.
I coach people who are changing professions. Almost every one of them opens with the same sentence in different words: "I'm not good enough yet." The sentence is true and useless at the same time. Everyone is not good enough yet. That is what "yet" means. So I stopped asking about competence. I asked a smaller, nastier question instead: What exactly gets damaged if someone watches you from the…
Changing professions can be daunting. Many people feel they are not good enough yet. However, this mindset is both true and unhelpful. Instead of focusing on competence, it's more effective to ask what would happen if someone watched you as you start. Some responses include: my old colleagues would see it, my sister would see me as the slowest, and I would be afraid of asking stupid questions.
These concerns are not about skill, but rather about the audience and the perceived social cost of failure. The real fear is not getting the job, but being seen wanting something you are not yet good at. This fear is not irrational, as being seen trying can have real social consequences, especially for adults who are expected to already know their field.
The key is to make the attempt small enough that a bad outcome doesn't ruin you. This means the attempt should be reversible, cheap, and witnessed by people who won't significantly impact your career. It's not about starting big and bold, but rather taking a small step and finding someone who will support you without jeopardizing your future. Remember, fear is present, but it can be managed by making the first move small and personal.
Written by urgent.news from Dev.to's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
