This nurse has cared for more than 100 dying patients – what they taught her about having a ‘happy death’

Mariam Jumaat, a 40-year-old home palliative care nurse, has experienced more death than most people do in a lifetime. As a nurse for end-of-life patients, she visits them at home, alleviates their symptoms, and accompanies them at the final moments. With over 100 patients under her care, Mariam's role is relatively new, introduced by Home Nursing Foundation's Integrated Home Health programme in 2023.

In 2022, Mariam initially declined the job as she mostly dealt with patients suffering from falls or accidents. Her job involved changing dressings, inserting catheters, and feeding tubes. However, after witnessing patients unable to pass away at home, Mariam changed her mind. She believes that home is the best place for patients to die, surrounded by the familiar smells, their own bed, and loved ones.

One of Mariam's earliest experiences was a "whiskey uncle," her first patient with terminal cancer. The family prayed, gathered around the bedside, and the patient could not eat, had little urine output, and was breathless and in pain. When Mariam's mentor informed them of the clinical signs, the whole family cried. Mariam suggested they give the patient whiskey, which they did, and he became unconscious and passed away peacefully.

Mariam's perspective on death has shifted since then. She recalls patients expressing their desires and plans for their final days, such as a "Peranakan Ah Ma" who wanted to wear a beautiful kebaya and specific jewelry for her funeral. She emphasizes that peaceful deaths occur when patients and families make peace with the situation.