Nakuul Mehta on raising children: ‘Dal chawal’ parenting with a ‘tadka’ of your own

Reputed actor Nakuul Mehta recently shared his perspective on parenting with his wife, Jankee, on their podcast, theindianparentpod. Comparing parenting to a comforting 'dal chawal' (simple curry and rice), Mehta suggested that this basic yet nourishing approach is enough to form the foundation of a child's upbringing. "There is no one way to do parenting," he explained, noting that parents can choose how much 'tadka' (a spicy seasoning) to add to it while maintaining the essential ingredients of nurturing, being present and setting boundaries.

Psychologist and counsellor Arpita Kohli highlighted the importance of consistency, emotional security, and simple, everyday interactions in this 'dal chawal' parenting style. A predictable routine and consistent caregiving can provide children with a sense of security, love, and belonging, regardless of the extravagance of experiences or opportunities. Kohli emphasized that children thrive with consistent caregivers who make them feel safe and emotionally secure.

Emotional availability, rather than physical presence, plays a crucial role in a child's development. Being attentive and responsive during meaningful conversations, even with a demanding work schedule, can help strengthen the parent-child bond. Kohli stressed that emotional availability doesn't mean being physically present all the time, but rather being attentive when it matters most. For example, listening to a child's concerns about school or disagreements with friends can foster a deeper connection.

Balancing warmth and discipline is another key aspect of this parenting style. Acknowledging children's feelings while maintaining clear limits teaches them that their emotions are valid, even when their requests cannot always be fulfilled. Setting age-appropriate boundaries around behavior, responsibilities, and screen time, while allowing children to make choices and learn from their consequences, can help them develop self-regulation skills.

In a world driven by screens, parents can be more present by actively listening when their children share their worries, putting away their phones during important conversations, and joining in activities they love. Modeling healthy screen habits and appropriate ways of expressing emotions can also help children develop these skills. Ultimately, 'dal chawal' parenting emphasizes providing a stable foundation while adapting to a child's individual needs, focusing on everyday moments of connection over grand gestures.