After separation and divorce, we kept raising our children under one roof. Here's what it's been like

Pauline Pang and her ex-husband have been living together under one roof since their separation and divorce three years ago. To the outside world, it might look like nothing has changed; they continue with family outings, celebrate their children's milestones, and even go on holidays together. However, those observing from the outside may find their situation peculiar or assume they are still together.

Pauline explained that ending their marriage does not mean they stopped being a family to their children. While there is no longer a romantic relationship between them, they remain parents to their two boys and six-year-old daughter. The couple spent years building their family and creating memories, and those years still hold significance for their children. Pauline chose to forgive her ex-husband, but the hurt and tension between them remained.

The couple met through a dating application in 2013 and got married three years later. As they had children, their relationship gradually drifted apart, and Pauline struggled with questions about whether to stay in the marriage or prioritize her children's well-being. After much contemplation, she decided to pursue an uncontested divorce, seeking a resolution that would allow her to maintain her responsibilities as their parents.

Pauline's in-laws were initially concerned about the divorce, hoping to salvage the marriage for the children's sake. However, Pauline and her ex-husband decided to prioritize their children's upbringing and the values of love, respect, and healthy boundaries they wanted to instill in them. They communicated their decision to their in-laws, explaining that their focus was on demonstrating a healthy family dynamic and setting an example for their children.

Despite living in separate rooms, Pauline and her ex-husband maintain a comfortable co-parenting arrangement. They agreed that the children can stay with their father on Friday and Saturday nights, providing him with the opportunity to be actively involved in their lives. The couple plans to continue creating shared family time and events where both parents can be present, supporting their children's growth and happiness.

While the romantic relationship has ended, Pauline emphasized that their commitment to their children remains strong. The children are free to choose which parent's room they sleep in each night and can easily switch between sleeping in each parent's bed. The ex-husband expressed that he desires to remain actively involved in the children's lives, and both parents respect each other's privacy and personal boundaries.

Pauline shared that she introduced the topic of divorce gradually to her oldest son, reassuring him that their love for him would not change even if his parents separated. This approach helped Pauline maintain a supportive and nurturing environment for her children, ensuring they understand their parents' love and commitment, regardless of their personal relationship status.