What total darkness reveals about who you really are

Total darkness offers a unique opportunity to explore the depths of one's true self. Dark retreats, which involve extended periods spent in complete darkness, strip away the distractions and inputs of daily life, allowing the mind to focus solely on the self. Interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner Andrew Holecek believes these retreats can be transformative, as the absence of external stimuli reveals the emptiness that often lies beneath the surface of our constant engagement with technology and distractions.

Holecek compares the initial shock of entering the darkness to a cold plunge for the psyche, as it challenges the ego's need for stimulation and control. At first, the mind may react with boredom or even resistance, contracting into familiar patterns of fighting, fleeing, freezing, or fawning. However, as time in the darkness progresses, people often begin to relax and surrender, allowing the mind to fall into itself.

In the solitude of darkness, the mind may surface unprocessed thoughts, emotions, and memories from childhood experiences. This can be a painful process, as individuals confront aspects of themselves that have been hidden or suppressed. As people expand their "Perception Boxes" - the mental boundaries through which they experience the world - they begin to shed layers of self-structure and identity, leading to a profound dissolution of the self.

Entering a state of total darkness can dissolve the barriers between self and other, revealing that "nothing really means everything." The mind, heart, and body all dilate in this state, leading to a profound sense of openness and connection. While returning to everyday life can be challenging, the experience of darkness can change one's ability to navigate the world, as individuals become more aware of the walls of their Perception Boxes contracting and acting as protective mechanisms against sensory overload.

The ultimate goal is to hold onto the openness and connection gained in the dark, transforming it into a lasting trait rather than a fleeting experience. This journey requires dedication and a willingness to confront the uncomfortable aspects of oneself, but the rewards can be profound and life-changing.