Clever database, but can it run Doom?

Can it run Doom? That's the question on everyone's mind now that the author of DOOMQL has released an even more visually accurate port - this time, ported to SQL. A saying rings true: "Be careful what you wish for." Back in 2025, we reported on a database expert who created a version of Doom written entirely in SQL. We joked that attempting to use SQL for rendering was a terrible idea, but here we are.

Lukas Vogel, the author, has brought both the game logic and renderer to SQL, with Python handling timing, keyboard input, and bitmap display. The rest comes from SQL queries and the CedarDB database. Vogel acknowledged previous criticism about DOOMQL being more Wolfenstein-like due to raycasting instead of BSP-tree traversal. However, for SQLDoom, he aimed for pure SQL-based rendering and a game loop, ensuring the port looked and felt like real Doom.

Surprisingly, despite not sharing any code with existing Doom ports, SQLDoom works surprisingly well, even supporting multiplayer games online using EU and US servers. While server performance may be sluggish, the fact that SQL can handle such intensive tasks is noteworthy. Vogel's excitement for this demonstration of CedarDB's capabilities is undeniable, and it's clear that Doom running in a database is far more entertaining than creating another online retail showcase.