Clever database, but can it run Doom?

Can a database run Doom? That's the question posed by the creator of DOOMQL, who has now released a more visually accurate SQL-based port of the classic game. In 2025, a database expert crafted a version of Doom using SQL, but the visuals were rudimentary compared to the iconic 90s pixel art. The author, Lukas Vogel, has returned and successfully ported both the game logic and the renderer to SQL, with Python handling timing, keyboard input, and bitmap display.

The only limitation is that the rendering must be purely SQL-based, with the game loop also operating solely in SQL. Vogel was thrilled to find that porting the real Doom was not only feasible but also performed better than his previous attempt. Impressively, he even managed to implement deathmatch mode. While the server performance may be sluggish due to the complex requirements, Vogel's enthusiasm is undeniable as he demonstrates the potential of CedarDB, a database system that compiles complex queries to machine code.

Running Doom in a database may seem unusual, but it's undeniably more engaging than creating another online store for a keynote.