‘I stopped going to the gym because of triggers’ – Matilda Amissah-Arthur opens up on husband’s death

For years, the gym had been a source of pain for former Second Lady Matilda Amissah-Arthur, serving as a constant reminder of the day her beloved husband, former Vice President Kwesi Amissah-Arthur, met his untimely demise during a workout session. The tragedy left her unable to step foot in the gym, viewing it as one of the many triggers that triggered the flood of painful memories associated with his death.

Recalling the tragic incident, she shared how her husband had decided to head to the gym, as they often did together as a family. "He just woke up and said he was going to the gym. I went with him. We all go to the gym together," she recalled. After her husband was rushed to the hospital, she was informed that he had been stabilized and would be kept under observation.

However, 45 minutes later, the devastating news of his death reached her. Despite the suddenness of his death, Mrs. Amissah-Arthur insisted on getting an autopsy, emphasizing that the nature of death, whether sudden or prolonged, does not determine the difficulty of bearing the loss. Rather, it is the separation and loss itself that causes the emotional turmoil.

This understanding helped her grasp why certain places and activities could become unexpected triggers, reopening memories of her late husband. She described these experiences as "triggers," highlighting that activities shared with a deceased loved one can suddenly bring back powerful emotions. Although she stopped going to the gym, Mrs. Amissah-Arthur did not abandon exercise altogether.

A few years ago, while working in Addis Ababa, she decided to confront the memory by going to a gym in a different environment. "I said, 'Lord, I need to break this thing in a foreign land.' I took my gym clothes and every morning I went to the gym. And I broke it, it worked," she said. She also avoided visiting the church where her husband practiced his faith, as the sight of the location alone evoked painful memories.

For Mrs. Amissah-Arthur, overcoming the fear of these triggers was not simply about forcing herself but making a conscious decision to confront the emotionally difficult aspects of grief. She believes that faith can provide strength during this challenging time, but personal determination is also crucial.