‘Hushed coping’: The quiet way women sabotage themselves at work

When women find themselves seeking out quiet spaces at work to manage their emotions, they may be engaging in a practice known as "hushed coping." This unconscious behavior of suppressing feelings of stress and overwhelm can be detrimental to their career advancement, particularly if they are female. Studies show that around 55% of women working in the public sector report feeling compelled to hide their true emotions at work.

Hushed coping often manifests in the suppression of anger, irritation, helplessness, and sadness, with 43%, 40%, 37%, and 34% of women respectively admitting to hiding these emotions frequently or nearly always.

The underlying reasons for hushed coping in women can include feeling unnoticed, disrespected, or unappreciated, as well as dealing with toxic supervisors or a lack of opportunities for growth. Over time, this coping mechanism can evolve into a sense of learned hopelessness, ultimately impacting an individual's motivation and self-perception. The psychological and emotional toll of hushed coping can manifest as emotional and psychological exhaustion, hindering one's ability to advocate for their own needs and concerns.

Employers also suffer from hushed coping, as a lack of open communication inhibits employee input, feedback, and the ability to foster workplace improvement. To address hushed coping, Genie Harrison, an employee rights lawyer, recommends initiating open and calm discussions with supervisors to address workload demands and resource allocation.

However, if clear communication proves ineffective, it's essential to seek alternative sources of support, such as trusted colleagues who can provide a reality check and help break the cycle of hushed coping. By fostering a more open dialogue, women can better navigate their work environments and improve their chances of career advancement.