We Must Create the Shit Machine
We must create the Shit Machine, a device that rains feces. This fecal precipitation promises to solve world hunger, cure cancer, and combat global warming. The machine works by blasting fecal particles into clouds, which then coalesce into coherent pieces of feces. While the exact benefits are unclear, this fecal innovation is seen as a necessary step towards a better future.
The Shit Machine has been met with universal enthusiasm, even among those who question its practicality. To prepare for the fecal onslaught, specialized fecal-shielding umbrellas and dams are available for purchase. The Shit Machine is now a key part of our plan to create a new reality centered around fecal technology.
Written by urgent.news from Lobsters's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
