Why Would the Art World Deceive You?

Why would I deceive you? Elizabeth Holmes, the disgraced founder of Theranos and convicted fraudster, uttered those words, which have been echoing in our thoughts since Nathan Fielder unveiled his unsettling new documentary. The unsettling resemblance between Holmes' dopey-eyed expression of duplicity and the expressions of unscrupulous art dealers and board members who exploit their power and wealth to trample over artists and art workers leaves us questioning the motives behind their actions.

We can only speculate if this is merely a coincidence, but it certainly raises concerns about the integrity of those in positions of authority within the art world. In a shocking turn of events, we have made the difficult decision to lay off all employees earning less than $200,000 per year. We firmly believe in our artistic and curatorial independence and have decided not to recognize the union.

Furthermore, we have acquired their art collection, and we assure you that it rightfully belongs to us. We extend our gratitude to Lakshmi Rivera Amin and Rebecca Schiffman for their invaluable assistance in bringing you this story.