Scientists thought “intensive parenting” was driving down birth rates. They found the exact opposite.

New research challenges the belief that demanding, child-focused parenting styles are causing lower birth rates. Rather than dissuading people from having families, subscribing to these ideals appears to coincide with a strong desire to become a parent. The study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, reveals that the shift toward intensive parenting does not deter people from starting or expanding their families.

Over recent decades, a cultural change has transformed how many view child-rearing, viewing it as an emotionally demanding, labor-intensive, and financially burdensome task. Despite these expectations, birth rates continue to decline in many high-income nations, including Sweden, where the total fertility rate hit an all-time low of 1.45 children per woman in 2023.

Historically, economists assumed that rising costs and time commitments of modern parenting deter people from having children, but this new study suggests otherwise. Led by Professor Sunnee Billingsley from Stockholm University, the research aimed to test whether the assumption holds using survey data. In Sweden, where family policies have long been thought to maintain high fertility levels, the researchers analyzed data from 3,397 Swedish men and women aged 18 to 40.

After excluding those who were pregnant or physically unable to have children, participants answered questions about their plans for childbearing over the short-term and long-term. They indicated whether they intended to remain childfree, postpone parenthood, or stop having children if already parents. The survey also measured intensive parenting attitudes, with participants rating their agreement with statements like "children's needs should come before their parents" and "child rearing is the most demanding job in the world."

The researchers grouped participants into five categories based on their overall attitude profiles, ranging from strong endorsement to rejection of intensive parenting. Contrary to expectations, those with strong or moderate intensive parenting attitudes were actually less likely to want to remain childfree, between 20 to 26 percentage points less than those who rejected these ideals.

Even respondents with mixed or neutral views were less inclined to remain childfree compared to the reject group. Similarly, among parents with two or more children, 86.8% intended to stop having more children. However, those with strong intensive parenting attitudes were 14 percentage points less likely to intend to stop than the group that rejected these attitudes, suggesting that people with demanding parenting ideals are more open to having additional children.

The findings indicate that intensive parenting attitudes and the desire for children act together, aligning with a commitment to family building rather than acting as a deterrent. This could reflect anticipatory socialization, where people who already want children naturally absorb the dominant parenting culture around them.