‘Grief becomes a routine’: Farhana lost five babies. A ‘culture of silence’ exacerbated her pain

In a quiet street in western Sydney, Farhana Laffernis, 34, walks her English staffy and three-year-old daughter while her toddler daughter plays with a pink tutu. Laffernis has faced five miscarriages, an experience she describes as "completely shattered" her. She says grief "almost becomes practised or like a routine" and feels the sting of it every time it occurs.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, three in 10 women who gave birth in 2022 had previously experienced miscarriage, with one in 10 having experienced two or more. This first-of-its-kind study in Australia, prompted by advocacy group the Early Pregnancy Loss Coalition (EPLC) founder Isabelle Oderberg, sheds light on miscarriage prevalence, but experts fear multicultural groups, including Laffernis, remain underrepresented.

Laffernis's first miscarriage occurred during a Covid-19 lockdown, with no support from her partner or medical professionals. She faced five miscarriages, and her family's reluctance to discuss the losses exacerbated her pain. While the study is welcomed, experts worry the data may not capture large, culturally and linguistically diverse groups, potentially leaving diverse families without necessary support.

Dr. Fatima El-Assaad, founder of The Still Nest, a platform supporting diverse families affected by infertility, pregnancy loss, and birth trauma, notes that cultural and religious practices surrounding fertility may make women feel like discussing their experiences is private. She worries that a culture of silence, combined with gaps in the data collection process, contributes to "a number of holes in the picture."