From 0 to 10: Experts rank the best and worst ways to discipline children

Disciplining children can be a perplexing task, with numerous approaches often employed within households. In an effort to simplify the matter, senior pediatrician Dr Ravi Malik has provided a ranking of common parenting methods, alongside insights from Dr Himani Narula Khanna, a Developmental Behavioural Paediatrician and Adolescent Mental Health Expert, and co-founder of Continua Kids.

According to Dr Malik, physical punishment ranks lowest, earning a score of 0/10. He explains that this approach "increases aggression in children and decreases self-confidence." Dr Khanna concurs with this assessment, stating that "physical punishment can increase aggression in children, as they often model the behaviour they observe in their parents."

Although it may lead to temporary compliance, Dr Khanna clarifies that this method does not foster genuine learning and may result in long-term harm to self-esteem and emotional regulation.

Conversely, positive reinforcement is highly recommended, scoring 9/10 on the scale. Dr Khanna highlights that this approach is "rightly rated and is considered the gold standard in parenting." She explains that positive reinforcement enables desired behaviours through reward-based learning, ultimately enhancing confidence and strengthening the parent-child bond.

Shouting at a child, on the other hand, receives a low rating of 1/10. Dr Malik notes that "confidence and trust in the parent lowers," while Dr Khanna adds that "shouting can reduce trust and emotional safety in children." Despite its potential short-term effectiveness, shouting often leads to anxiety and avoidance rather than actual understanding.

Topping the list with a perfect score of 10/10 is the gentle explanation, which focuses on calm communication. Dr Khanna fully endorses this method, stating that it "deserves a full score." She explains that gentle explanations help children comprehend consequences, develop emotional regulation, and feel more secure in their relationship with their parents.

Threatening children with police, ghosts, or other authority figures also scores poorly, with Dr Malik and Dr Khanna both noting that this approach can lead to issues such as separation anxiety, night terrors, and persistent fears in children. Over time, this fear can damage their sense of safety and trust, potentially resulting in problems like separation anxiety and night terrors.

Ignoring minor behaviours or mistakes was not assigned a numerical rating but is still considered a strategy worth discussing. Dr Khanna acknowledges that "ignoring minor behaviors can be useful if applied strategically," particularly in instances of attention-seeking behaviour. However, she cautions against using this approach when dealing with harmful or persistent behaviours, as it may not be an appropriate solution in those cases.