At First I Was in Newborn Bliss. Within Days the Hallucinations Started
I had to grieve the motherhood I thought I was going to have, process things I don’t fully remember and learn to trust myself.
The author of this story, who had a newborn in April 2025, describes an experience far removed from the typical "newborn bliss" often mentioned. Within days of giving birth, she encountered a rapid decline in her mental health, marked by symptoms of postpartum psychosis. Traumatic events during her pregnancy, including a non-consensual membrane sweep and a severe postpartum hemorrhage, may have contributed to her delusions and hallucinations.
The author, a physician assistant, felt increasingly disconnected from reality, experiencing mania, delusions, euphoria, paranoia, and vivid nightmares. Her condition worsened quickly, and she could not differentiate between what was real and what was a product of her mind. Doctors and medical professionals initially dismissed her concerns, attributing her symptoms to sleep deprivation or other physical issues.
The psychosis fully emerged about seven days after giving birth, leading to her hospitalization in the emergency room. Despite being recognized as a psychiatric emergency, she was separated from her newborn during her stay in a psychiatric facility. The author emphasizes that recovery is a complex process that involves grieving the expected motherhood experience, processing traumatic memories, and rebuilding trust in oneself as a parent.
She advocates for early intervention in postpartum mental health, as timely treatment dramatically improves outcomes. The author hopes to contribute to changing the postpartum experience for future mothers by sharing her story, highlighting the urgent need for mental health care in this critical period.
Written by urgent.news from Newsweek's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
