Families waiting for news from Nepal and Tibet will feel both hope and despair – and this can change minute to minute

A recent surge in death toll from devastating flash floods in Nepal and Tibet has reached 1,050, with at least 42 Australians among the 4,000 still missing. The term "unaccounted" used in reports can blur the line between those lost and those yet to be found, causing immense confusion for families. With no guarantee of news, their feelings oscillate between hope and despair.

As a longstanding advocate for families of missing persons, I have gleaned insights into their experiences with "ambiguous loss". This refers to an ongoing loss without resolution or closure, affecting how individuals feel and behave. They may oscillate between hopeful thinking and moments of hopelessness, replaying last conversations or constantly seeking new ways to locate their loved ones.

Families in Australia may feel helpless due to distance, unable to travel to the disaster zone, and may also experience physical and emotional agitation. It's crucial to validate both hope and hopelessness, recognizing that clinging to ideas of survival isn't a conscious decision but a normal response to trauma. Social workers learn to encourage families to respond however they need, even if that changes minute by minute.

While hope can sustain in times of crisis, it's not a decision to ignore the reality of potential outcomes. Encouraging open, non-judgmental discussions about fears and fears can make people feel less alone. Supporting families requires avoiding speculation, not suggesting they "switch off" from traumatic news, and encouraging self-care.

Encouraging grounding activities and attending to daily functions like sleeping and eating are also vital. Ultimately, compassionate and flexible support is needed as families navigate this ambiguous loss, taking care of their own well-being in the process.