A mother lost her son to suicide. Now she fears what being 30 and unemployed means for her other
The number of suicide deaths among people aged 30 to 39 in Singapore rose by 50 per cent from 2023 to 2024.
On August 20, 2023, Sarah, a 57-year-old manager in a consultancy firm, prepared her eldest son Erik's favorite minced beef dish. The day before, Erik had expressed feeling hungry and had lost a significant amount of weight due to lack of appetite. He had gone to the supermarket, purchasing cigarettes and black coffee, which were consumed only by him. Sarah believed her son had planned to stay for some time, not knowing these moments would be her last memories of him.
On the same day, Erik told his mother he wanted to go for a walk to clear his head, assuring her he would return before dark. Unfortunately, Erik died by suicide that same day. In 2024, suicide deaths among people aged 30 to 39 increased by 50%, with 99 deaths reported, up from 66 in the previous year. The overall number of suicide deaths rose from 434 in 2023 to 441 in 2024.
Erik, who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his teens, had been trying to lead a normal life. He sought counseling and was on medication to stabilize his mood. He wanted to work and support his wife and young daughter but found it difficult due to his illness causing complications in adulthood. Erik struggled during his national service and was later discharged due to his deteriorating mental health.
He experienced severe anxiety related to his condition and was conscious about how it might affect his future employment prospects.
Despite graduating with a diploma, Erik found it challenging to secure a job, having worked at an ice cream production company before quitting after being moved to a less desirable role. After marrying his girlfriend, Erik became a father but faced difficulties holding down a job and had tensions with his wife's family who did not understand his mental illness. During periods between jobs, Sarah supported him and his family financially.
On the day of his death, Erik sent his mother a text message saying, "I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you." For people in their 30s facing mental illness, Sarah pointed out that the expectations of adulthood do not diminish when someone is unwell. They feel pressured to provide direction, stability, and maturity, which can lead to further distress.
Her second son, Rocky, who shares similar mental health struggles, has also faced challenges finding employment. Despite having a degree in English and qualifications in information technology, Rocky has been struggling to secure suitable work, leading to increased depression and financial hardships. Sarah fears the impact of being 30 and unemployed on her son, advocating for more understanding and accommodating employers who can help individuals recover from mental health difficulties and reintegrate into the workforce.
Written by urgent.news from Straits Times's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
