The taboo experience of motherhood regret
Many parents have moments where they miss their life pre-kids. But what's it like when that feeling isn't fleeting? And how does it feel to carry something, that if said out loud, comes at a significant social cost?
Belle's journey to motherhood was marked by multiple miscarriages and unsuccessful IVF attempts, but she eventually became pregnant naturally. However, the transition into parenthood brought about feelings of regret, as she questioned her decision to have the child. Her daughter, now a tween, has amplified these feelings, leaving Belle questioning her choices and the expectations placed upon her as a mother.
Sociologists like Ella Reed have researched maternal regret, finding that it is not the same as postnatal depression or anxiety, but rather a feeling of "I wish this child didn't exist." Despite loving their children, many women feel they don't meet societal expectations of being the perfect, serene mother. This taboo topic is rarely discussed, and those who do speak out face significant social repercussions.
Women who choose not to have children also face negative bias, with child-free women perceived as less warm and desirable partners. To alleviate this pressure, Reed advocates for acknowledging that motherhood exists on a spectrum, and all feelings, including regret, are valid.
Written by urgent.news from ABC News AU's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
