It doesn’t have to be this hard to get divorced
Rebecca Feinglos never expected to get divorced. She’d been with her partner for nine years, and married for six, but finally she had to admit to herself that her relationship had taken an abusive turn. It was 2021 when she decided to end it. But Feinglos was surprised to discover then that the state she […]
The process of obtaining a divorce can be a protracted and expensive ordeal, with varying requirements across different U.S. states. Some states, such as North Carolina, South Carolina, and Arkansas, mandate that couples reside separately for a set period before filing for a no-fault divorce. In contrast, many states impose a "cooling-off" period after filing, often measured in days or months, allowing spouses to reconsider their decision.
Erin Levine, a former divorce lawyer, points out that the legal proceedings can be especially daunting and costly, as the forms and associated terminology often connote a sense of legal conflict. Erin and colleagues have observed that certain states mandate formal service of divorce papers, meaning that a delay in tracking down a spouse can prolong the process.
She highlights that the current system inadvertently fosters conflict and even war, an unfortunate reality given the emotional and financial burdens it imposes on divorcing couples.
Conservative lawmakers in some states have attempted to make divorce laws even stricter, partly driven by a desire to preserve the traditional nuclear family. However, in recent years, there has been a growing movement to simplify divorce laws and reduce their financial and emotional toll on individuals and families. Maryland eliminated fault-based divorce and shortened the separation requirement in 2023.
Washington, D.C., followed suit by doing away with the separation requirement. Virginia recently passed a law allowing for first-day separation filings, expediting the process significantly.
Public figures, including authors Jen Hamilton and Hadley (Vlahos) Fairley, have used their platforms to advocate for reform, shedding light on the difficulties and trauma associated with extended divorce proceedings. Despite the efforts, the debate surrounding divorce laws remains contentious, reflecting the broader cultural and political debates over the sanctity of marriage and the rights of individuals within that institution.
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