Flirting Is a Lost Art
Many daters are fluent in texting but far less comfortable with ambiguity, rejection, and face-to-face social risks, writes Meehika Barua.
Last year, a man at a party caught my eye – a handsome stranger I'd met at a yoga event the month prior. He complimented me, and I responded politely, unaware that she nearby viewed his overture as a flirtatious attempt. Confused, I couldn't tell if he was flirting or just being polite. Such flirting skills seem to be disappearing.
In an online class about dating in today's world, people lamented the lack of face-to-face flirting and the reluctance to approach others. Therapists and psychologists warn that we're losing the art of flirting. Digital culture may be to blame. Victoria Wren, a U.K. therapist, notes that people are less comfortable with spontaneous face-to-face interactions due to the reliance on digital communication. Texting and messaging give users control over their words and responses, reducing vulnerability.
Previous generations engaged in social interactions like striking up conversations in bars or reading body language, without the option to edit or unsend messages. Many fear rejection, making them hesitant to approach others. My therapist, Stephanie Beebe, explained that her generation relied on strong interpersonal skills due to limited digital alternatives. Today, fewer opportunities exist to practice these skills, contributing to the potential decline in flirting abilities.
While some blame dating apps and social media, other forms of technology may also be at fault. Communicating through texts, voice notes, and algorithms has led to a loss of confidence in navigating the ambiguity of romantic interactions. Flirting, like any skill, requires practice. With fewer opportunities to interact with strangers, many feel pressured to manage their online presence, making casual encounters feel intimidating.
Gradual exposure to positive social interactions, such as complimenting a barista or smiling at a stranger, can help build confidence in approaching romantic interests. Self-compassion and self-acceptance are crucial in fostering a healthy mindset for romantic engagement.
Written by urgent.news from Time's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
