The three-and-beyond-body problem: juggling kids, travel and careers in academia

In November 2025, the correspondent learned firsthand just how intricate their family life has become. On that occasion, both the correspondent and their spouse were in the air simultaneously, crossing the Indian Ocean in opposite directions. The couple had two work-related trips, two long-haul flights, and a packed calendar during that time. Their children, aged five and eight, were being cared for by grandparents and close friends.

Upon landing in Manchester, UK, the correspondent realized that this situation mirrored a much larger reality they were navigating: the constant negotiation required to sustain two academic careers alongside parenting. The correspondent is an environmental chemist, while their spouse lectures in psychology. Both find themselves in an academic system that assumes simpler realities.

Academia can face the "two-body problem," where couples struggle to secure positions commutable from each other. However, for the correspondent, the introduction of children added another layer to their approach. The couple now juggles conferences, fieldwork, project meetings, and deadlines, all while coordinating childcare and school routines. Their calendars are layered on top of one another, with travel plans negotiated with precision and mental calculations of who can be where and with what backup plan.

When the correspondent was in China for a conference, they knew their spouse was managing school drop-offs, evening activities, and shifting work commitments. Once the spouse left for the meeting in Indonesia, they faced an entirely uncharted territory, relying on their parents and carefully planned contingencies to maintain everyday life. This trip was the first time both parents were away at the same time with two school-aged children, which proved to be no small feat.

Travel is essential for academic life, as conferences, workshops, and collaborations are crucial for sharing research, building networks, and staying engaged with the latest developments in their fields. However, conference dates are rarely flexible. Meetings happen when they happen, leaving the couple to juggle everything around them. Many conferences cluster in the spring and summer months, coinciding with school holidays, adding an extra layer of challenge for parents.

Balancing work and personal life as a sole parent during the pandemic proved difficult. The correspondent's personal record is four connecting flights in a single trip to return home just in time for their children's bedtime. Whenever possible, they have reached out to hosts or collaborators to ask for scheduling adjustments, such as shifting talks by a day or clustering commitments into shorter visits.

The correspondent has been fortunate to have strong working relationships with people who are willing to make these small adjustments. However, trust is essential for asking for these changes. People's personal circumstances differ, and accommodating these needs can make a significant difference in the sustainability of dual-academic households.

While the correspondent has family support, it's neither guaranteed nor simple. Their parents have to travel for more than three hours each time they help out, while balancing their own caring responsibilities for older relatives. This highlights a broader reality: academic mobility often relies on a hidden and complex network of support.

Relocation further complicates this situation, as moving internationally can mean losing informal support systems that make family life workable. The correspondent's set-up offers some comforts, but having parents nearby to care for children was never mentioned as a condition of success in an academic career.