A healthy guide to sitting shiva: Navigating death and loss in these unprecedented times
Since Oct. 7, we have dealt with more loss than we ever thought possible, alongside normal life-cycle events. Clinical psychologist Batya Ludman discusses how we can help in the grieving process.
Shiva, the seven-day mourning period following a death, is a deeply significant Jewish tradition that offers a structured and dedicated opportunity for grieving. During this time, mourners "sit shiva" and receive visitors, except on Shabbat when outward signs of mourning are halted. The practice encourages open sharing of memories and feelings with those who knew the deceased and those who come to offer support.
While shiva is a deeply personal experience, it provides a clear framework for navigating loss. It allows mourners to talk, reflect, and share stories about the deceased, helping them slowly begin to accept and come to terms with their loss. The week passes quickly, and after shiva ends, mourners return to a new reality, often feeling both exhausted and hopeful.
Visiting a mourner during shiva can be an uncomfortable experience for both the visitor and the mourner. Men often plan their visits around a minyan, while women prefer company. However, those who make the effort to attend are typically glad they did and appreciate the visit. Visitors may feel awkward, unsure of how to interact with the mourner, who may be in bed, wearing the same clothes for a week, and may not want to interact.
Shiva customs vary, and there are few hard-and-fast rules. It's essential to do what feels right for the mourner. Each shiva may feel different, depending on the circumstances surrounding the death. Regardless of the experience, shiva offers a unique opportunity for community support and healing during a profoundly difficult time.
Written by urgent.news from Jerusalem Post's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
