From S$600 birthday treats to daily Grab rides: SG man wonders if men are trying too hard to compete for love

Singaporean dating can be an expensive affair, leading to concerns about men going too far in their pursuit of love. One individual shared stories from his circle that made him wonder if the local dating scene had become overly competitive. A man in his network was seen consistently using Grab rides to take a woman he met on Hinge home, even though they were not in a relationship.

He didn't own a car and had been dating her for five months, but she was still unsure about being in a relationship with him. Another friend spent close to S$600 on a birthday dinner and gifts for a woman he met on Hinge during their second date, despite the relationship not being exclusive. He had already spent S$150 on their first date at a fancy cocktail bar.

Then there was a colleague who took annual leave to accompany a woman to a medical appointment, regularly buying her lunch, sending her food when she worked overtime, and helping her with errands. However, she eventually told him she only saw him as a friend and continued doing all these things because he wanted to appear different from other guys, hoping she might change her mind.

The man questioned whether such grand gestures had become the norm in Singapore's dating scene or if some men were confusing being a good partner with being a doormat. He emphasized that putting in effort and treating someone well is important, but wanted to know at what point it becomes excessive. Many commenters in the discussion thread expressed disbelief at the lengths these men went to for their dates, stating that winning a woman over shouldn't be that complicated or costly.

Some advised men to be themselves rather than trying to outdo others in their displays of affection, as genuine connections can be formed without such excessive sacrifices.