When a partner won’t apologize, anxiously attached people may hold bigger grudges
Why do some people hold grudges after a fight? A new study suggests that for people who fear rejection, a partner’s refusal to apologize is linked to more grudge-holding, avoidance, and difficulty forgiving.
New research published in The Journal of Social Psychology reveals that when romantic partners refuse to apologize for their transgressions, individuals who are anxious about rejection may hold grudges, withdraw from the relationship, and struggle to forgive. The study, conducted by Brianna Davison and her colleagues, involved three experiments and aimed to understand how a partner's response after a conflict shapes the reactions of anxiously attached people.
Adult attachment style, a psychological pattern of expectations and insecurities regarding closeness and dependability in intimate bonds, plays a crucial role in how couples navigate the aftermath of relational missteps. People with anxious attachment styles crave closeness while fearing rejection or abandonment, making them more likely to react destructively when their partner fails to apologize for a wrongdoing.
Past studies have shown mixed results regarding the link between anxious attachment and destructive reactions after a wrongdoing. The new research found that a partner's nonapology, which is a defensive reaction that denies fault or shifts blame onto the victim, may signal unavailability and prompt anxiously attached victims to react destructively.
Written by urgent.news from PsyPost's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
