‘What is this emotion telling me?’ How anger, fear and jealousy can point the way to a better life
It’s tempting to ignore uncomfortable feelings – but maybe they’re the key to a happier, more successful future. Time to increase your psychological flexibility … Something infuriating happened to me recently. My local gym closed down, and overnight what I laughingly call my fitness regime was toast. Quite literally, because now instead of plodding, spinning and lifting tiny dumbbells, I was…
Feeling angry, fearful or jealous can actually be a helpful guide for leading a more fulfilling life, according to experts. Instead of dismissing these uncomfortable emotions, it's beneficial to acknowledge and understand them. This concept is known as psychological flexibility, which involves engaging with what truly matters to you, being present in the moment, and accepting whatever life throws your way.
Rachael Skews, a behavioural scientist and coach, explains that psychological flexibility consists of three key components. First, you need to be engaged with your own individual values. Second, you must be present and flexible in your mindset. Lastly, you need to be open to all experiences, viewing them as potentially valuable.
Unlike positive thinking, which often tries to suppress negative emotions, psychological flexibility encourages you to embrace them. This approach can be particularly useful when faced with obstacles or challenges. For instance, Janette, an executive assistant, initially struggled with remote work in a large company. She found it difficult to connect with her boss in another country and felt isolated.
By recognizing that her unhappiness stemmed from her desire for a sense of belonging, she decided to join a local co-working space where she could meet new people and build relationships.
Research supports the benefits of this mindset. Studies have shown that higher psychological flexibility scores are linked to better overall mental health. Accepting and processing difficult emotions allows individuals to take action rather than avoiding problems. Psychologist Susan David emphasizes the importance of emotional agility, which involves fully experiencing all emotions – both positive and negative – without letting them dictate your actions. Instead, she suggests viewing emotions as data, providing clues about your needs and values.
For example, if you're feeling lonely, labeling it as such and asking what it's signaling can help you take steps to address that need, such as seeking out social connections. While it may seem daunting to confront negative emotions, they are not directives and do not define who you are. Emotions are fleeting and can be managed without letting them control your life. By recognizing your agency and taking ownership of your choices, you can learn to navigate life's ups and downs with greater resilience.
Written by urgent.news from Guardian Health's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
