I told women to stop chasing balance. Now I’m telling them to ask for help

On June 29, 2026, I welcomed my fourth baby, six days after writing these words. As a 38-week pregnant woman, I struggled with a list of tasks that kept me awake until 11 p.m. The concerns ranged from camp forms and pediatrician follow-ups to a board deck due for review. Who would cover carpool the week after my delivery? My body demanded rest, but my mind wouldn't let me.

I had always written that women should stop chasing work-life balance, as true balance was unattainable. Now, as a mother of four, a venture capitalist, and an investor in healthcare companies, I reflect on my previous advice. The endless to-do list and constant pursuit of optimization have left me questioning whether we've forgotten to live amidst our achievements.

The mental load has evolved from traditional gender roles to modern expectations, with women shouldering the majority of responsibilities for their families and careers. The impact of this mental load is alarming, with women experiencing higher rates of poor health, mental distress, and overall lower life expectancy. Despite societal pressures to be self-reliant, asking for help has become essential for our wellbeing and that of those around us.

I found solace in confiding in other women, forming close-knit groups where we could openly discuss our struggles. By breaking the stigma surrounding seeking assistance, I discovered that "I can't do this alone" is the first step towards thriving, not failing.