‘My family should not have to leave’: New shelter aims to help S’pore men in crisis

When Emi returned home from work in September, he discovered an unusual silence. His 15-month-old son and wife had left the house after suffering verbal abuse from Emi while he was under the influence of drugs. Emi, 44, had relapsed into drug use after periods of sobriety. The new crisis shelter, a pilot project set to launch in the second quarter of 2027, aims to provide a safe haven for men in similar distress.

The initiative by non-profit organization Fellowship of Men Singapore (FMS) seeks to assist men experiencing abuse, displacement, or those at risk of self-harm. The shelter will utilize budget hotels to accommodate up to three men at a time during the pilot phase, aiming to help as many as 50 men over the course of a year. Each man can stay for up to seven nights without charge. FMS founder and director Ismail Didih Ibrahim hopes to establish its own facility within five years.

The shelter aims to address cases where men have left their homes abruptly, sleeping under void decks, in cars, or on the streets. It also targets men whose behavior may endanger their families. FMS wants to explore whether, in certain cases, the man could temporarily leave and receive support before the situation worsens. By intervening earlier, the hope is that the man has time to regulate his emotions, take responsibility for his behavior, and seek help.

For Emi's family, the prospect of leaving their home was a painful awakening. Emi had endured a troubled childhood, falling in with the wrong crowd and starting drug use at age 11. He managed to quit, but relapsed during his marriage, becoming suspicious and verbally abusing his wife. Without support, Emi returned to his old friends and drugs, hoping to numb his feelings. His job as a cleaner was lost after an altercation at work, prompting him to turn to FMS for help.

The shelter is not intended to condone abusive behavior. All prospective residents will undergo an assessment, with the safety of their partners, children, and others being the top priority. Men deemed to pose an immediate risk of suicide or violence, or those with acute psychiatric or urgent medical needs, will be referred for emergency or clinical intervention. During their stay, residents will be paired with trained FMS mentors and connected to services like counseling, social work, or legal assistance as needed.

FMS currently has about 40 trained mentors, many of whom sought help themselves when they first joined the group. The organization is seeking to raise $36,500 for the pilot phase, which estimates about $100 per night for each man to cover accommodation, mentor transport, and meals. A boxing and Muay Thai fundraiser is scheduled for November 7 at 4.30pm at 225 Joo Chiat Road to help raise funds.

The shelter will also serve men experiencing abuse themselves, as many struggle to confide in friends or relatives due to a lack of deep relationships.