Facebook end times experts find apocalypse in glitches
Post-apocalyptic future announcement arrives in all caps with a blurry shopping trolley photo declaring the beginning of the end.
The end times have arrived, according to a Facebook post from a visionary. The comment, made in all caps with three exclamation marks, warned that "This is how it starts!!!" The poster, an author, initially dismissed the claim but became convinced after connecting various dots. The apocalypse, as he sees it, is a slow-burn affair where minor inconveniences, like WiFi drops and mismatched Tupperware lids, signal the end of the world.
The author, initially expecting a more dramatic end, now finds the situation underwhelming. Her Facebook prophet advises staying alert, stocking up, and trusting no one. Daily updates include warnings about "unusual bird behavior" and a suspiciously appearing pothole. The comments section is filled with disagreement, with some agreeing with the prophecy and others dismissing it.
One person even shared a banana bread recipe, suggesting a light-hearted approach to the crisis. The author herself has prepared by charging her phone and buying snacks, accepting that the apocalypse will likely be inconsequential. Despite the lack of zombies or chaos, she remains committed to her end times preparation, knowing that there will always be someone on Facebook who saw it coming.
Written by urgent.news from The Citizen's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
