Why the Intelligence Gap Really Matters
Great thinkers and artists throughout history have argued that you can’t have true romance without a meeting of the minds.
In recent years, a woman on social media shared a breakup text from a man who cited her love of books as grounds for ending their relationship. The internet responded with outrage and memes, highlighting the sensitive issue of intellectual compatibility in relationships. Reflecting on this, the author realized they had not given much thought to the significance of this gap until meeting their doctoral adviser, Francis C. Blessington, a Miltonist.
Meeting Blessington's wife, Ann Taylor, a writer in a different field, the author was struck by their intellectual companionship. The author then questioned what would have happened to John Milton if he had known about his wife's intellectual incompatibility before they married. In 1643, Milton published The Doctrine & Discipline of Divorce, arguing that marital compatibility should extend beyond physical needs to include cerebral compatibility.
He believed that living with someone whose mind you cannot reach is akin to being in a state of living death. Milton's radical stance on intellectual compatibility was progressive for his time, highlighting that women were capable of rational thought and meaningful conversation. Despite being effectively canceled for his argument, Milton's ideas laid the groundwork for future discussions on intellectual parity between sexes, seen in the bluestockings' salons in the 1700s and later in Nietzsche's philosophical musings.
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