‘Are you looking for a provider’: How rising costs are reshaping dating for Gen Z

Dating for Gen Z has undergone a significant transformation due to rising costs. A recent date with an aesthetic cafe, delicious food, and craft cocktails ended with a bill close to Rs 5,000, leading the participant to opt for a Dutch split. They later chose to add a lipstick to their wishlist instead.

College dating used to be more affordable, involving hangouts at fast-food joints, chai stalls, and cafes within budget. However, modern outings rival monthly electricity bills. Nandhitha Bhaskar, a brand partnership manager at Student Tribe, Hyderabad, finds the hypervisibility of money both a boon and a curse, as it allows tracking expenses but also makes one conscious of spending. The brand manager suggests that the cost of dating has become so high that even ghosting might stem from feeling overwhelmed by expenses.

Manav Lopez, a student intern in Mumbai, believes that Gen Z's difficulty in dating is primarily due to the unavailability of affordable options, rather than intentional ghosting. Rising costs and shrinking portions contribute to this challenge, making dates feel inadequate. The student intern recently quit his job and is finding it increasingly difficult to afford restaurants in Mumbai, with a decent outing costing between Rs 1,500-2,000.

Clinical psychologist Masuma Zainab attributes the pressure to handle finances not only to inflation but also to personal insecurities and the societal pressure to present oneself in a certain way. She asserts that most people desire to feel seen and heard, which is a cost-free sentiment.

The trend of "infladating" - opting for less expensive and more informal dates - is emerging among Gen Z, according to the online dating service Plenty of Fish. However, this raises a more intriguing question: when young people become more aware of their spending on dates and feel pressured to appear affluent, how does it impact their self-image?

Clinical psychologist Shivani Rai explains that the gap between affording a date and projecting an image of being someone who can afford dating is pushing youngsters to present themselves online as desirable, interesting, and aspirational, often leading them to seek approval through borrowing money from lending apps.

Self-presentation on dating apps has become crucial, with photos, bios, and social media profiles serving as the first introductions to potential partners. According to Rai, individuals need to show a version of themselves that others desire, making identity feel more like a project than self-expression.

The pressure to maintain a certain image on social media can create a cycle of comparison, where individuals judge their desirability based on the overall impression of their life, rather than just their appearance. When discussing money in dating, Zainab suggests waiting until after a relationship has begun, possibly by agreeing on a monthly budget that works for both partners. However, she firmly states that ghosting is never justified, regardless of the reason.