4 ways parents can teach young boys about consent and how to go against the group, according to Dr. Becky
Amid the controversy around sexual assault allegations at Cornell University, parents flooded Dr. Becky's DMs for advice on consent education.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist, mom of three, and founder of Good Inside parenting app, has been receiving many questions from parents seeking advice on teaching their sons about consent and speaking up. She emphasizes that assault prevention should begin early, not just during college orientations. The skills of hearing "no," noticing when something feels off, resisting peer pressure, and speaking up must be practiced from a young age.
Parents should start by helping their sons learn to tolerate frustration when they want something but don't get it. When a child hears "no," they should practice being upset and understanding that disappointment can be handled. This teaches kids that they can handle disappointment without pushing until someone changes their mind.
Another crucial skill is teaching children to notice others around them. They should be aware of the person in front of them, what's happening, and the information they're receiving. This starts before any sexual situations, as noticing subtle cues in everyday interactions is vital. For example, if a sibling stops laughing when someone continues wrestling, it could indicate discomfort.
Speaking up when something feels wrong is another key skill. Kids need to learn that silence doesn't mean consent; it means no. They should practice speaking up even when everyone else seems to agree with the wrongdoing. For instance, if a group of kids is laughing at someone who fell on the playground, a child could say, "Stop," "That's not funny," or even get an adult involved.
Finally, it's essential to discuss the fear of speaking up. Many kids worry about being ridiculed, getting in trouble, or disappointing their friends. Parents should reassure their children that it's normal to have these concerns and that asking for help is a positive action, not a failure. Encourage your son to practice using the words he might need in high-pressure situations, so when the time comes, he can confidently express himself.
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