This is what women leaders can teach us about using AI well

There exists a gender gap in the adoption of generative AI, as various studies have shown that women tend to use artificial intelligence at lower rates than men. However, this statistic may not accurately represent the hesitance many women experience. In my research and coaching of executives, I have noticed a notable difference in how senior-level women approach AI.

Instead of being slower to adopt the technology, these women demonstrate deliberate and thoughtful usage. They do not start with AI but instead begin by focusing on themselves, which is a crucial aspect to consider.

AI does not possess knowledge about the unique aspects of any given situation, such as an organization's history, political realities, stakeholder relationships, or the human consequences of decisions. Consequently, experienced leaders understand that they are responsible for judgment. AI use that displays this wisdom can enhance, challenge, and strengthen their thinking without replacing it. Based on observations across numerous leaders, four AI habits consistently lead to better outcomes for executive women:

1. Define the problem before asking AI to solve it. Successful AI users do not immediately seek the tool's solution. Instead, they first clarify the problem they are trying to solve and define what success would look like. Research from McKinsey and Boston Consulting Group supports this approach, indicating that AI initiatives are far more likely to create value when leaders begin by defining a clear business problem and establishing measurable outcomes before utilizing the tools.

2. Use AI to build relationship intelligence, not just documents. Many senior women leaders employ AI not only for drafting emails but also for gaining a deeper understanding of their colleagues. They cultivate a living record of stakeholder priorities, communication preferences, concerns, and lessons learned from past interactions.

By using AI to identify patterns, anticipate reactions, and surface overlooked perspectives, these leaders approach each conversation with greater insight. Research from Science and Microsoft researchers supports this approach, revealing that AI can help people synthesize competing viewpoints and prepare them for important meetings by encouraging them to reconsider assumptions and adapt their communication.

3. Let AI prepare while keeping judgment for yourself. Experienced leaders comprehend that gathering information and making decisions are separate tasks. AI can assist in organizing research, identifying patterns, summarizing evidence, and generating alternatives; however, it cannot determine the trade-offs worth making or acceptable consequences.

Studies have shown that decision quality is highest when analytical reasoning and intuition work together, particularly in dynamic environments. AI is best utilized as a decision-support tool rather than a substitute for human judgment due to its inherent biases, reasoning failures, and other limitations.

4. Don’t ask AI to agree with you. Ask it to challenge you. Recent research has demonstrated that deliberately exposing assumptions to challenge leads to better decision-making, and studies incorporating AI show that it can be highly effective in this regard. By posing questions that prompt AI to disagree with your perspective, you can benefit from its analytical capabilities and foster more robust decision-making.