‘To err is human…’

Everybody understands that human beings are prone to making errors. My father was an exception to this rule, he insisted. "I don’t make mistakes," he declared when my brother accused him of making one. Nonetheless, if the majority of us acknowledge that we all make mistakes, why do so many people shy away from admitting it and uttering the simple phrase "sorry"?

The line "Love means never having to say you’re sorry" became famous through the film Love Story, but it is inaccurate. Love often means having to say you’re sorry. As the saying goes, "to err is human." Humans occasionally get it wrong or experience a difficult day, which can lead to snapping or snarling at a loved one. Does that mean we should not apologize once the situation has calmed down?

Apologizing says a lot about a person's character rather than denying that they ever have to apologize for something. Lately, do you think people are less inclined to offer an apology compared to a generation ago? The answer is yes, there are more inflated egos today. This reluctance to admit an error and apologize is due to wanting to control the narrative and protect one's self-esteem.

Some people lack the ability to consider that they might be wrong and that the other person might be right. There are negative examples set by politicians who rarely apologize. Politicians have all the tools and techniques needed to avoid admitting "You are right, I was wrong, and I apologize." Even when a politician is held accountable and has to say something, the apology is often qualified and watered down.

However, we are not criticizing our politicians—compared to those in many other countries—because they reflect the type of society we live in. A half-apology can sometimes make the injured party feel worse. If you apologize, do it fully. It should not be: "If I inadvertently hurt you with what I said, it’s not what I meant," or, "If you took the wrong meaning from my words, I didn’t mean to be offensive."

If you really want to make things worse, say: "Perhaps you are a little too sensitive about that subject!" A sincere apology can make two people feel good. Given that we all make mistakes, saying sorry should come naturally to us. The word "pride" comes to mind here. One fear people have when apologizing is that their apology might not be accepted, and they will be humiliated.

But this fear is unfounded, as there is great relief in doing the right thing, regardless of how the other person reacts. Most often, an apology is appreciated and admired, and the person who says "sorry" is seen more highly by others. It is not a sign of weakness; it shows self-assurance and character. Michael O’Leary's recent apology for using an inappropriate word is a perfect example of delivering a genuine, unqualified apology.