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Friendship is built over time, through ordinary moments—I teach lonely college students to notice them

The first skill I learned when I became a political science professor nearly 20 years ago was how to quiet a room full of chatty undergraduates.

Friendship is built over time, through ordinary moments—I teach lonely college students to notice them

Nearly 60% of college students reported feeling lonely sometimes or always in a 2026 national survey, with close to half of Americans socializing in person with friends and family just 30% of the time in 2025. These statistics highlight a growing loneliness crisis on college campuses nationwide.

Denis Novikov/iStock/Getty Images Plus, a political science professor, observed this loneliness phenomenon among his students, who were often found staring at their phones instead of engaging with peers. As loneliness became a concern, he designed a freshman honors seminar, "Friendship & Society," to address students' uncertainty about forming close relationships.

In this course, students explore friendship through academic study and hands-on experiences, learning how positive social interactions stimulate the brain's reward system while isolation triggers stress. The class examines how friendships shape identity, memory, loyalty, and mental health, and even impact a person's sense of belonging within a community.

Students engage in various "Friendship Practices," such as sharing meals with classmates or visiting public gathering spaces to practice starting conversations. Through journal entries, reflections, and creative projects like short films and friendship memoirs, students reflect on their initial expectations, experiences, and the development of their relationships throughout the semester.

By the course's end, students gain a deeper understanding of how friendships form from countless seemingly insignificant moments that accumulate over time, ultimately building relational capital and community trust. These insights enable students to start conversations, identify conducive public spaces for meeting others, and recognize habits that foster lasting relationships.

Written by urgent.news from The Conversation's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.

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