To stop violent men, look at the boys they were

Violent men do not simply become violent overnight. Childhood abuse, domestic violence, poverty, and damaging attitudes towards masculinity can accumulate over time, although not all boys who experience these factors will become violent. Men do express fear, shame, and pain when they feel safe to do so. Studies involving mineworkers, students, and young men from informal settlements indicate that the issue is not merely that men cannot openly express their emotions.

Informing boys to "discuss their feelings" is insufficient. They require spaces where vulnerability will not undermine their masculinity, and access to affordable mental health support.

In today's newsletter, Yandisa Sikweyiya and Andrew Gibbs explain why violent men are not born. Sign up for their newsletter to learn more.

James is a composite character created from patterns frequently observed in research with boys and men in South Africa. His narrative helps us comprehend an essential aspect of South Africa's high levels of violence against women and girls: men do not abruptly transform into violent individuals.

Research over the past three decades has shed light on various factors that increase the likelihood of boys and men resorting to violence later in life. There is no single cause, and none of these experiences automatically implies that a boy will grow up to be violent. However, these risks can accumulate.

Childhood abuse and neglect are significant factors. So are violence at home and in the community, poverty, substance abuse, and harmful ideas about masculinity. In South Africa, we must also consider these experiences within the context of our history of violence, deep inequality, and racism. Our recent research with male students at universities and colleges reveals how these pressures intersect.

Young men discussed poverty, absent or violent fathers, childhood abuse, community violence, and detrimental masculinity notions that hindered vulnerability expression.

This brings us to James's story. After becoming a teenager, he felt lonely and sought belonging. He found it in a gang, admiring its leaders and seeking their approval. Engaging in fights, carrying weapons, robbing, and selling drugs became ways for him to prove himself. Sexual violence against women was another aspect he embraced, as violence provided him with status and belonging.

Simultaneously, James began consuming alcohol and other substances, but he lacked knowledge on discussing fear, sadness, or shame; instead, he chose to suppress them. The connection between masculinity and emotions is crucial and has been overlooked in discussions about why men resort to violence.