The confidence myth: Why waiting to feel ready holds women back

A common belief among women is that they should only take action when they feel confident. However, this idea can hold them back. Over 25 years of working with women founders, leaders, and high achievers, I've discovered that the confidence myth is the primary obstacle women face. Women aren't merely lacking self-belief; they're influenced by inherited expectations that dictate how prepared they should be before starting anything and how much they should know beforehand.

These expectations extend beyond confidence and stem from a deeper issue: distinguishing between expectations that are truly their own and those they've adopted without conscious choice.

One of the most significant differences between women and men is how they approach trying new things. Women often feel they must be completely ready before putting themselves forward, while men are more willing to give it a go and adjust as they go along. This is not a gap in capability but a gap in permission. Women may continue holding onto an idea and waiting until they feel ready, missing out on opportunities to try, learn, and grow.

For instance, women may hesitate to set up a business due to the belief that similar businesses already exist and that their ideas aren't strong enough. Later, they start and run successful businesses, proving that waiting to feel ready doesn't guarantee success. Waiting can cost more than trying, as it prevents valuable experiences and insights. As capable women move forward, they realize that confidence is something that develops through practice, not something they need to find first.