How to support a colleague who has lost a loved one to suicide

In 2024, approximately 50,000 Americans perished by suicide, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. The impact extends beyond the deceased, as each suicide is connected to 135 people who knew the individual, including coworkers, as well as close connections. This means that around 6.6 million people become part of the suicide loss survivors community annually.

The author of this account is among these survivors. In January 2025, the author received a distressing text message from their half-brother, informing them of their father's suicide. The shock of this news, along with the manner in which it was communicated, left the author traumatized and depressed. While the author was fortunate to have the strong support of their spouse, daughter, and son-in-law, they began to wonder, "Who should I tell?"

The decision to share their father's suicide was deeply personal, based on several factors, and discussed with a grief therapist. The author reflects on how to support others in the workplace facing similar unimaginable events, given the stigma surrounding suicide and its effects, such as concealment of the death, social withdrawal, reduced psychological and somatic functioning, and grief difficulties.

To support a colleague who has lost a loved one to suicide, start with offering condolences. A meaningful card with a handwritten note of condolence and support demonstrates thoughtfulness and respect. The author explains that such gestures allow the grieving person to maintain their own narrative without feeling presumptive and convey availability and humanity without assuming a reply or explanation.

Depending on the relationship with the colleague, the author suggests responding in different ways. If there is a limited social connection, a simple expression of regret or a note of support is appreciated. For close coworkers, offering more support is advised, such as inviting them for a break from work to take a moment of respite.

However, the author emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries, especially in the early stages after the death, and not pushing for too much engagement. If a grieving colleague does wish to seek further support, the author provides dos and don'ts to indicate continued availability and willingness to help without imposing.