Mbaks’ take on Tariffs, reed dances and America Lite
How ANC secretary‑general Fikile Mbalula imagines tariffs, reed dances and America Lite with a wink.
Dear President Donald Trump, my name is Fikile Mbalula, the secretary-general of the ANC in South Africa. We are currently part of a coalition government, and I have been reflecting on the recent encounter between you and our President Cyril Ramaphosa. My intention is to discuss our potential collaboration, in strictest confidence, to benefit both our nations.
I have studied your actions and book, and I believe that together we can achieve great things for both our countries, including making South Africa great again. I propose that we consider imposing tariffs on water from Lesotho, as it is the Canada of South Africa, and potentially annexing Swaziland and "Nambia" (Namibia) for our own benefit.
Additionally, we could take over Israel's settlements in the West Bank and give them Lebensraum, while eliminating the International Court of Justice and Palestinian officials. This would be much easier than taking over Venezuela. I am eager to discuss these ideas further and propose an immediate meeting at Waterkloof airbase. Please call me at the provided number, and I will arrange for my arrival.
Written by urgent.news from The Citizen's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
