EU in space: Going boldly where plenty of people have gone before
In space, no one can hear you regulate.
In a week where the world resembles a burning dumpster fire, Europe finds itself envious of space exploration. The European Union, much like outer space, is mysterious, ungovernable, and lacks an atmosphere in Brussels’ EU Quarter. Yesterday, European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen endorsed a proposed space project between Airbus, Leonardo, and Thales, aiming to create a rival to Elon Musk’s Starlink.
The EU’s ambitious plan, Bromo, might not be as good as Musk’s venture, but it won’t be owned by a man who names his children by smashing his face into a keyboard. French President Emmanuel Macron wants Europe to develop a crewed spaceflight program within a decade at the International Space Summit. If Europeans start flying into space for holidays by 2036, they might face alien life.
German seems like the best language for communication with extraterrestrials, as it’s direct and intimidating. In case of an invasion, Frontex might struggle to cope with alien forces without a massive funding increase in the 2034-2041 Multiannual Financial Framework. The EU's future remains uncertain, but space policy will likely stay under the Commission's control, overseen by an AI-generated version of von der Leyen.
Written by urgent.news from Politico EU's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
