What makes $BigTechCompany's products bad, anyway?

In an unexpected twist, a holy figure named Isidore of Seville took on the task of making big tech companies' products better. He traversed San Francisco, the supposed center of the modern world, and traveled to a corporate office hall. There, he approached a dazzling counter and noticed various buttons, levers, and dials. By adjusting a gear stick, the algorithms began to function as intended.

One effect of his intervention was that community-owned wikis started ranking higher than Fandom.com™ wikis on search engines. Additionally, the dashboard showing the percentage of grandmothers calling their nephews due to button presses spiked, while pizza delivery latency in Boston increased. Japanese chess streamers experienced a 30% drop in viewership, while Skat saw a sudden rise in popularity.

The Mark Zuckerberg video resurfaced, causing a stir. Amidst the chaos, the holy figure pulled the reporter back and placed a hand on their shoulder, causing everything to go dark. When the reporter regained consciousness, they were back in their living room, surrounded by corporate office monitors displaying revenue data from Alphabet, Microsoft, and Apple.

Despite the overwhelming data, the reporter realized that big tech companies had vastly different business models. Conflating them into a single "big tech" entity is misleading. By examining the data more closely, they discovered that Google's ad business broke down into Search, YouTube, and Display Ads. Search ads dominated, accounting for five times the revenue of YouTube ads and ten times the revenue of display ads.

The reporter concluded that Google products "suck" because they cater to the "lowest common denominator" of users, rather than experts. This approach lacks the customization and depth that experts require. In contrast, Microsoft focuses on enterprise contracts, and Apple specializes in hardware. The reporter emphasized that understanding a company's primary revenue source is crucial in determining the quality of its products.