I’m a mother and C-suite exec. Here’s how I let go of guilt
When my boys were young, a neighbor’s grandson asked them: “Is your mommy dead?” Every Wednesday, this little boy would visit his grandparents across the street. He would see my husband and my sons, but he never saw me. I was at work. Thankfully, my boys came home that night laughing—they thought it was hilarious. My immediate response was incredible guilt. My soul was crushed. I know I’m not…
In the days when her young sons were young, a neighbor's grandson inquired whether the mother was dead. Every Wednesday, the grandson visited his grandparents, seeing the father and sons but never the mother, who worked. Eventually, the boys returned home, laughing at the situation. Instead of feeling guilty, the mother understood that she was a better parent when content in her job. This perspective remained with her as she rose to become president and CFO of a Fortune 500 company.
The first step to dealing with guilt is not striving for balance. The idea of balance implies equal parts in both personal and professional lives, which is impossible for ambitious individuals. Instead, focus on "disciplined presence," making deliberate choices of where to direct attention and fully commit to those decisions. This can mean switching off from work during family time or vice versa, ensuring a life lived with intention.
Secondly, avoid measuring yourself by the moment. The current situation might be temporary, as personal and professional lives will inevitably change. Accept that prioritizing fitness during busy periods is temporary, knowing that it will become possible again later. Don't make long-term decisions based on short-term circumstances, and don't let guilt make you feel like a failure.
Thirdly, involve your loved ones in decision-making regarding their needs. Instead of assuming what your family wants from you, ask them directly. This will reveal what truly matters to them, allowing you to save those moments and prioritize them effectively. For example, the boys did not require the mother to attend every school event or soccer practice, but they did value her presence at weekend games and bedtime stories, making those moments more meaningful.
Lastly, recognize that guilt is counterproductive and serves no purpose for the individual, their family, or their career. Acknowledge that ambition requires sacrifices, and missed dinners or games are inevitable. While guilt might feel like a sign of caring, it's actually an exhausting emotion that doesn't make loved ones feel more loved. Embrace the understanding that there is no ambition without trade-offs, and let go of the guilt that holds you back.
Written by urgent.news from Fast Company's reporting — not their text. Machine-written — may contain errors; check the original before relying on it.
