Gauahar Khan on motherhood, work and the importance of being present

Balancing a flourishing career with the responsibilities of motherhood poses considerable challenges, yet certain working mothers are reshaping how they navigate these dual demands. Gauahar Khan, who gave birth to her son Zehaan in 2023, recently divulged her approach to parenting while simultaneously handling shoots and travel.

In a conversation with Bollywood Bubble, the actress disclosed that despite having assistance, she doesn't solely depend on a nanny. Instead, she ensures her child remains in close proximity to her throughout her travels.

According to Khan, having a strong support system is crucial: "there should be help, there should be family, and your husband should be your support system." She emphasized that even if the financial strain causes her to spend more from her pocket, she prioritized being physically present for Zehaan. "Even if the money goes out of my pocket, I don’t mind. But I had to know I am bringing my child and not just (external) help."

Psychologist Athul Raj highlighted the importance of being physically present during a child's early developmental years. He explained that in the early stages, children aren't forming explicit memories but rather establishing patterns related to safety, emotional response, and attunement. "This kind of emotional imprinting can't be fully outsourced.

A caregiver might provide comfort, warmth, and structure, but their presence is ultimately functional. The attachment formed with a parent is different. It carries emotional weight. It teaches a child whether the world is a place where closeness is safe or something they have to earn," Raj stated.

Raj emphasized that while emotional connection doesn't require constant physical proximity, it does necessitate being emotionally available when one is there. Even brief but consistent moments of attentive presence can serve as a child's emotional anchor. Failure to provide such connection may lead children to adapt in ways that resemble early maturity, shutting down expectations and fostering a belief that closeness isn't dependable.

These patterns can persist into adulthood, influencing how individuals relate, attach, and self-soothe.

Raj stressed that emotional connection isn't a task but rather a thread that weaves through everyday moments. He suggested that support staff are indispensable in many Indian households, often maintaining the household's functionality. However, the emotional connection remains a distinct thread that needs nurturing. "What helps are small, consistent rituals.

The same story every night. A video call that always happens after lunch. A simple ‘how was today?’ that you genuinely listen to, even if you're tired. These routines don't need to be creative. They need to be emotionally predictable."

He cautioned against falling into guilt, the urge to overcompensate for the absence with extra effort. Instead, he urged understanding that children truly want to be seen, not managed. What they need more than anything is to feel that their parents recognize and appreciate them, even when physical presence is limited. When a child senses emotional safety with a parent, they begin to internalize that sense of safety within themselves.

This secure base allows them to grow independently, not through forced maturity, but by having a reliable foundation to return to.