My retired husband wanted me to join his adventures. Saying no was the best thing for our marriage.
I spent years prioritizing my husband's career. Now that he's retired, I'm finally making room for mine.
Allison Snyder recounts how her decision to prioritize her career over her husband's business endeavours when he retired proved to be the best thing for their marriage. Once upon a time, she put her freelance writing and consulting career aside to help her husband, who owned a successful backcountry ski and hospitality business. But when he retired at 56 and she was 41, she discovered the importance of setting boundaries.
Initially, they faced disagreements while travelling, with her husband wanting to spend his retirement days enjoying adventures and she wanting to continue working. In one memorable exchange, he exclaimed, "It's your turn now," after a particularly heated argument about whether or not she should join him on a kitesurfing trip. Through this experience, she learned that she had to learn to say "no" to some of her husband's adventures in order to prioritize her personal goals.
Eventually, after much trial and error, the couple decided to move part-time to Northern Italy, where her husband could explore and she could sometimes join her while also finding her own rhythm. This change was a result of their realization that constant travel wasn't something they wanted to do, especially apart. In the end, Snyder credits her husband's encouragement to prioritize her career as the key to finding a healthier balance in their relationship.
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